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( 02 )
The tumour is still there
04 Sept 2015
I don't understand.
I thought this was done.
We stood on your word,
And declared ‘the truth’.
Is this the battle? I thought it was won.
We shall do greater things.
In your name.
Confused.
Doubt.
Fear.
Rage.
Why are you distant?
I want you to move, to heal, to mend,
To restore family, for your glory.
And so, the choice.
Again.
What to believe?
Where to place my trust?
Do I bow to circumstance?
Do I trust in my own understanding?
Do I let today define tomorrow?
And so, I bow.
That is all I can do.
You are God.
The choice, the decision of my will,
That in all things, you are good.
‘…and when I don't understand I'll choose you…’
The tension between doubt and faith,
The spirit and the flesh.
To learn what it means to place things fully in your hands.
To give up my rights.
To slip underwater, out of control.
Free
Because there is nothing else.
Where can I go to escape you?
Oh, my heart, do not shrink back in fear.
Just because you do not understand does not mean that God is not sovereign.
Nothing has changed.
He is still God, and you have to allow him to still be God even when that doesn't fit your understanding.
The tension, the wrestle, the fight.
But to hear your voice,
To know your whisper,
To catch your heart.
Take me where I need to go,
Tune my ear and position my heart,
To commune with yours
‘…whether I sink, whether I swim collar it makes no difference when, I'm beautifully in over my head…’
A fundamental choice in us all, to seek out the more, the why, the who. If this gets shutdown, our hearts grow cold and our focus becomes earthly. If in anyway, however, we embrace the potential of becoming, the ember will stay alive and if fuelled, will grow. Learning and growing to see the more of God in everything – EVERYTHING.
‘…we're getting there (from glory to glory) and were determined to discover…’
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